November 2011
List: Ways in Which She Could Have Blinded Me With... →
jtotheizzoe:
From McSweeney’s:
She exposed me to excessive ultraviolet radiation, which gave me terrible cataracts.
She removed all traces of vitamin A from my diet.
She launched well-targeted projectiles at my eyes, causing severe trauma.
She poisoned me repeatedly with steroids, which over time caused the formation of a pituitary tumor that pressed against my optic chiasm severing my...
